That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
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Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
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