I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
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Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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