yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
