At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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