I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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