Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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