Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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