hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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