omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
