I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
