You work out of a Hotel?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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