Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
