Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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