she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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