We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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