they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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