i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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