mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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