So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
