He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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