Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize