we're blogging at a bar
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
