So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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