Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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