I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
