Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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