Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
