Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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