He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
