What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
