my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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