I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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