Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Green mimosas i think yes
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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