I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
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