why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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