I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
