I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
