Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
