My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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