Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
