I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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