hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
