If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
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i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
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We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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