I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
