foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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