Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
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by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
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Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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