Plan B is the new Plan A
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Randomize
