2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
