You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize