U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I could fuck to npr.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
