i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
