she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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