why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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