I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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